If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
