Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
