I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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