i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
