Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I am one with the molecules
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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