Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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