Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
