When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
