Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
