We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize