then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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