I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
