bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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