lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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