The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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