So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
