So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So vagazzling was a success
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
