it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
