And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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