It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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