dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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