I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
