He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
