Your tits are I can't wait for
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
someone owes me an orgasm
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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