his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
