You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
