You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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