Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize