i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
