Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
