So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
