Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
