i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
