Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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