shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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