Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
