I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
