she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
