Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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