Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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