I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize