i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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