Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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