Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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