im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
