you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
