Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
