Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
