found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
