The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
