I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
