he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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