He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
