he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
