doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
