Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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