this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Randomize
