Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
