??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
