ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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