if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
