Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
