is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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