naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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