after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize